Have you ever felt like you were in an unhealthy and toxic relationship? Here are the red flags that you are in a bad relationship and advice that can help you transition to a healthy and happy relationship.
High Highs and Low Lows
When you’re with this person, you go back and forth between high highs with them and very low lows. It feels as if you are on an emotional rollercoaster and this thrill can become the norm an also be addicting. It highly important that we put this to a hault because it causes a lot of damage for everyone involved. Communication can help this cycle stop. Sometimes the HH and LL’s occur because there’s a lack of communication and everyone is just riding on the wave and what’s to come next instead of addressing the problem at hand. By being completely honest and listening to each other you can get a fuller understanding of each other and be aware of each others trigger points.
When in a relationship where emotional manipulation is taking place, you start to feel like a crazy person. They rely on guilt trips to control you, diminish your difficulties, feed off your insecurities, and use aggression and anger to get you to do what they want. These traits are very toxic and will drain you completely if you let them. To stop this from consuming you, you could set firm boundaries and abide by them; if the manipulator is crossing your boundaries, this gives you solid ground to offer push back and also distance yourself from his person. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a break to regroup and reassess your standards and let the manipulator know the game that they are playing and let them know you will no longer be a pawn but a queen.
Feeling like you are not worthy to be in a healthy relationship or feeling unworthy to be treated right by this person is very harmful for yourself! No human is too good or above any other human, especially in a relationship. Everything should be equal and not one-sided on your end. Unfortunately, if we display this insecurity of unworthiness in the wrong relationship they can use that against you. They can push you to believe it further so that you become complacent and dependent on them and them only. The way to fix this is to build yourself up and change your way of thinking! We can’t expect for someone else to respect and value us if we don’t respect and value our own self! It is very important that we remind ourself how worthy we really are and hold people accountable when they are trying to diminish our light.
Sometimes in a toxic relationship we get so used to how horrible things have become and we start to lose feeling and become numb. This is never the desired outcome we want out of a relationship but it can pose as a reality. A person can break us down to the point where we think that it’s normal, we become numb to their hurtful ways and It becomes something the only thing that we know. To start to overcome this problem, it is vital that we tap back into our feelings and recognize how we feel about being in such a relationship. It is easier said than done and sometimes it takes a bit of soul-searching to get out of that hole, but once you do, it can be liberating experience for you to make the change you want.
How you react to the manipulation and toxicity of your relationship depends on what kind of relationship you are facing. If you or someone that you may know might be in a toxic or abusive relationship, please seek treatment from organizations such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.